Mike's Saudi Two

I’ll let Mike continue, he seems to be enjoying it.

“Mohammed was also a Bedouin but of a poorer background and a simpler man, though he had proved himself within the culture by getting married and fathering a son. We were friends and on a number of times he had saved me embarrassment caused by my ignorance of the local custom.

A little time after Syb and my daughter Karen joined me out there Mohammed invited us round for an afternoon naturally I wouldn’t insult him by refusing though I did wonder what we had let ourselves in for. He lived in a little block built house of a single room with a corrugated iron lean to. At the time his son had not been born so the whole space inside was given over to entertaining us. Although Karen could speak no Arabic and Mohammed’s wife knew no English they got on like a house on fire each speaking their own language and admiring the wife’s golden jewellery, this as with all Saudi women represented her personal wealth. They were the same age, sixteen.

Mean while Mohammed, Syb and I conversed in English, I can’t remember now the subject but at intervals during the conversation a few Saudi women would come in and settle down, each time Mohammed would tell then to take their veil off and they would sit there unveiled  some breast feeding their children. After a little while Arabic tea arrived along with some little European cup cakes, I had never seen this type of cake in Saudi before and I have no idea where he had found them. But I imagine he had gone to a great deal of trouble to get them.

As we all sat there without veils eating English cup cakes and drinking Saudi tea, Mohammed nudged me with his elbow “Just like England” he said. I managed not to laugh for he had tried to create what he believed was a European environment. Where he had done his research I don’t know but he was not in a position to have learnt it from any of his normal sources in a little brick room in the mountains of the Asair Province. We were honoured to be sat on the ground with our host and hostess who had gone to so much trouble to make us feel at home with an English afternoon tea.”

Mike's Saudi

 

This week I decided to let husband Mike have a go at writing a blog we were together in Saudi and because of the religion and culture we moved in very different worlds so here’s his take on it.

"I loved my time in Saudi Arabia, I was there for four years before Syb could join me and in that time I got to know many of the locals. People like Ali Badi a Bedouin and the son of the tribes chief, of all the people I have ever known he is the one I would describe as a natural gentleman and I’m pleased to say a good friend of mine. He lived the normal Saudi life so I never met his wife other than when fully covered she brought the in tea to her husband’s lounge and left immediately, at such times it was polite for me to ignore her. This would seem very strange to our western culture but Ali’s wife refused a trip to the US simply because she would have to take her veil off so she was pleased rather than offended that I ignored her.

When I was there it was a case of trying to understand the Saudi culture, after all they had lived with it for many hundreds of years and who’s to say my way would be better for them? Actually their culture which was almost totally based on the Koran had much to recommend it, I don’t need to go into it here and I only understand what brushed off on me but it did seem to work for them. King Fisel who was ruler when I first went out was a very wise man and instituted a lot of rules for the development of his country.

To try to bring Saudi into the modern world, a country with a small population and a strictly non technical background he had to rely on the Western countries to educate his people. Even though the conditions for the expatriates were separated from the population it was inevitable that they would mix, western ideas would spread and it was inevitable that in time there would be clashes of culture and misunderstanding. Why is it that we in the West can’t accept that there are other ways of doing things and keep our noses out of others life styles, religions and cultures? I suspect that if we had done there would be a lot less terrorism in the world.

A lot has changed from when Ali and I used to sit and drink tea together in his lounge."

Today and yesterday

I just read my last blog through about the changing world, it took me back to when I was first married when the thought of someone killing someone was totally shocking and seemingly rare. I wonder if it is really the improvement in the media that brings every action of ours into the full glare of the spotlight or that life was always so callous. We often hear that in much earlier times life was cheap and I have no doubt it really was but after the last world war and during the time of conscription I believe that for a short time life was friendly helpful we were comrades. Our wants were simpler, we were less materialistic and satisfied with a much simpler life style.

There seem to me that the reasons for the change in attitudes are the easy ways in which we can get credit and so satisfying dreams more readily, and so increasing our wants still further. Our first car was a 1934 Morris Eight open tourer it cost a princely sum of £25 we couldn’t really afford it but it came after years of cycling and walking. I learned to drive in it double declutching and all. I should mention that it was our only car and it was old when we got it, of course! Now youngsters aspire to cars as soon as they are old enough to drive and who can blame them they live in a competitive society and relatively easy availability, not only that but Mum and Dad have a car each, so why not me?

Me - there’s a word, it seems to be the driving force of today’s population, from youngest children we teach personal gratification. The children of my modern family have an ever increasing mound of toys to play with; most ignored after a very short time in favour of some digital device whilst the adults are out at work to earn more; to buy more gratification for the family.

When life was simpler it didn’t require the income to support the ever competitive life style of today, for one thing there were less things to buy, and for some products rationing still existed and the gap between rich and poor was accepted. It was in other words less stressful, I accept that it is impossible to go back delightful as it was in my memory, but I am so grateful that my life spanned that time.

Now I live in the country, not as a recluse, as I keep up with the news and join in the local events but it is peaceful here and a wonderful place to write.

Thoughts about 'Inshallah' today

I was thinking the other day about my book “Inshallah” and my life in Saudi Arabia in 1978, I have no idea how it would be now. When I wrote “Inshallah” I did it with the purpose of trying to make expatriates appreciate that although different the Saudi way of life and appreciation of the world had a reason to it. A difference I tried to explain in an adult story form to show life in a family against its traditions and religion.

The episodes in the book are either taken directly from families I knew intimately or in the case of Mark and Jinnya a reasonably fair interpretation of a situation of the English man and a wilful Saudi woman who fall in love. Her character seems a bit excessive at times but I have known girls just like her. The western thought that all Muslim women are down trodden is far from the truth and if you care to read the Koran you will find there are many provisos that are ignored by extreme and to some extent more moderate Islamists.

Just like the Catholic Church in Christianity the rules have been altered to suit a political situation there are too many examples for me to list here but just two will suffice the crusades and the inquisition. Where in the bible does it say that we should ask Mary mother of Christ to intervene, no it quite clearly states that it is through Christ we should communicate with God.

Sorry I’ve gone off the script a bit but it does annoy me when any religion twists it’s mantra to serve a worldly purpose. Not only that but it leads to miss understandings and general confusion so people blame one another through ignorance. This leads us back to why I wrote “Inshallah” in my own little way I hoped to increase the understanding between east and west. But now things have changed so much that I doubt if I were to go back to my Saudi homes I would recognised the place even if they are still there. As for my book it is now just a fine love story in a place which has ceased to exist.

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Holiday

Sadly there will be no blog this week due to my annual holiday. Why not reread some of my earlier ones? I promise to be back next Friday. Many thanks Sybil

 

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Mother in laws advice

I was about to meet Mike my husband off the London train late one Friday night, the station was not in a particularly salubrious area of a nearby town. As I was getting ready my mother in law who was staying with us at the time said “Lock the car doors and take Tedder with you”. Over cautious I thought but decided to heed her advice.

Tedder having once shot off the back seat when we braked hard now took up residence in the back foot well. Just before I left, as instructed, I locked both the passenger and driver’s doors more to please my mother in law than for security.

It was just as well she had suggested it, as I stopped at some traffic lights a man from the pavement grabbed at the passenger door handle, Tedder who had been completely hidden in the back leapt up barking at the window. If it had not been so serious it would have been funny the man’s face changing from aggression to fear in a millisecond. He left go of the door handle and fled, it was quite a temptation to release Tedder and let him go after him. But I thought too much of my dog than to let him tear up my would be assailant.

Looking back on it, in a case like that I would normally have left Tedder at home with my mother in law and I never normally drive with the car doors locked, the consequences don’t bare thinking about.  Now Tedder and my mother in law are long dead and I still don’t lock my car doors but then I live in a wonderful and peaceful area of the country and my husband no longer has to visit London, in fact he is now my guard dog.

Dog caught by sofa

Tedder was a beautiful gentle German Shepherd with a well developed sense of humour. John was a colleague of my husband’s who used to stay with us when he was in the north, which is surprising as he was a little nervous of dogs. Though to give him his due he got on quite well with Tedder in a guarded sort of way.

 Unfortunately there was some reason we had to go out,  I don’t remember the reason now but it was a time when John was staying with us and he offered to baby sit while we were out. We left him sat in the lounge reading a book of some description, Tedder lay in front of the fire one of his favourite places it was a nice domestic scene. As John became more absorbed in his book Tedder moved alongside the end of the sofa by John then without warning turned and barked strait into his ear. John shot into the air and fled into the kitchen closing the door behind him. Meanwhile Tedder climbed on to the sofa and made himself comfortable, this was against the house rules but John was in the kitchen suffering from shock, so why not take advantage of the situation.

We returned home to find John in the kitchen, having calmed down he explained what had happened..  The sofa had loose cushions on top of elastic bands. On hearing us Tedder in a panic had tried to get off the sofa before we discovered him and had dislodged the cushions. So as we entered the lounge all we saw was a shame faced German Shepherd suspended on elastic bands frantically waving his legs in mid air trying to get down. There was no need to read the riot act to him for it was the last time he ever tried to get on any of the furniture.